Last week, my boyfriend and I broke up. The sudden change left me hollowed and lost.
I know what I’m feeling is nothing new. That’s why what Shakespeare wrote about coping is as relevant now as it was 400 years ago: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’erwrought heart and bids it break.”
Take torch songs, for instance. There is solace in the over-the-top and drippy lyrics because it’s like Bonnie Raitt just gets you when all the logic and well-intentioned advice in the rational world doesn’t. She just gets how it feels to love someone so completely, and to try so hard, but to have it not be enough for that someone to stay. She just gets the incessant thoughts that plague you: What if I did something different? What if I were prettier, thinner, funnier, smarter, anything-er? Does he even miss me, or did he already forget? She just gets the inconsolable grief that follows. She just gets what it’s like to feel as if you’ve been thrown away.
Over the weekend, I baked this. I don’t want to romanticize the experience by saying it was cathartic because it wasn’t. But rolling the dough and freezing it, and giving the filling a slow stir over the stove, and then neatly arranging it all together — it may not have been life-changing, but it was a welcome moment of peace and purpose.
This is a layered pie — dark chocolate ganache on the bottom, tart cherries and raspberries on top, all inside a barely sweet pastry shell. Every bite is a tangy, bittersweet experience.
So for my fellow broken hearts, this pie is my torch song.
Heartbreak Pie (aka Black-Bottom Cherry Pie)
Yield: 1 pie (serves 10)
Prep Time: 2 hours
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours, 45 minutes (not including time for cooling)
Pie Dough (from Rose Levy Beranbaum):
16 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold and cubed (2 sticks)
3 cups bleached all-purpose flour
⅓ teaspoon salt
dash of baking powder (a little over ⅛ teaspoon)
⅔ cup cream cheese, cold and cubed
4 tbs heavy cream
4 tsp cider vinegar
Ganache Filling (same as this one):
1¼ cup heavy cream
9 ounces bittersweet chocolate (no more than 65% cocao), chopped
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
¼ tsp salt
Cherry-Raspberry Filling:
3-4 cups pitted Bing cherries (I ended up using 3 cups and like a handful more)
½ cup raspberries
¾ cup minus 1 tbs sugar
2 tbs + 2 tsp cornstarch
pinch salt
1 tsp lemon zest
¼ tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp lemon juice
Turbinado sugar (optional)
9½” deep dish pie pan
Prepare the crust and topping:
Cube the butter and freeze for 30 minutes. Combine the flour, salt, and baking powder in a freezer bag and freeze for 30 minutes as well.
In a food processor, process the cold flour and cream cheese for about 20 seconds until it looks like a coarse meal. Add in the frozen butter and pulse until the butter is slightly smaller the size of peas.
Add the cider vinegar and heavy cream and pulse until the mixture comes together. It won’t stick together into a cohesive lump (yet), so don’t worry! Turn the dough onto a cutting board and quickly knead it with the heel of your hands until it comes together.
Divide into halves and flatten into rough discs. Wrap with plastic and refrigerate for at least 45 minutes.
Prepare the ganache filling:
Bring the heavy cream to a boil. Pour it over the chopped chocolate and stir until the chocolate melts and is smooth.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, vanilla, and salt. While whisking the chocolate, drizzle in the egg mixture and whisk until it’s nicely combined.
Prepare the cherry-raspberry filling:
In a saucepan, combine the cherries, raspberries, lemon juice, sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Let the mixture sit for about 10 minutes. Over medium heat, stir the mixture constantly until it bubbles and thickens and the cherries and raspberries break down a bit, which should take 1-3 minutes.
Cool the mixture and add in the lemon zest and vanilla. Stir well to combine.
Assemble the pie:
Preheat the oven to 425°F.
Roll both discs of pie dough on a floured surface until they’re both ¼” thick. Trim one to be a 13″ round. Line the bottom of the pie pan with the 13″ round and decoratively crimp the edges, then poke some holes into the bottom with a fork. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
With the other disc of pie dough, cut out decorative shapes — hearts, circles, ducks, whatever — and refrigerate the pieces for 30 minutes.
Pour the ganache into the chilled pie dish, then gently top with the cherry-raspberry mixture. Arrange the decorative shapes on top. Sprinkle with turbinado sugar.
Put the pie dish on a baking sheet and bake for 45 minutes on the middle rack, rotating halfway through. If the crust starts browning too much, cover it with foil and continue baking.
Let the pie cool completely before serving so that the filling sets. Serve at room temperature.
